


Just Visiting

by Haywire



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Parks and Recreation
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 08:43:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2844935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haywire/pseuds/Haywire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While visiting New York City, April and Andy find themselves in need of assistance of the local Brooklyn precinct.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Visiting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oddishly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddishly/gifts).



“So, I’ll ask you one more time, sir, what did the guy that mugged you look like?” Rosa asked with a sigh, slouched back against her chair. Andy sat opposite her on the other side of her desk, scratching his head.

“It’s kinda hard to remember, you know?” he said. “I mean, it all happened so fast, I dunno.”

April, who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, chimed in. “It was a dude, if that helps.”

“Yeah, that narrows down our field of suspects by roughly fifty percent, fantastic news.” Rosa replied, rolling her eyes. “You should be a police officer, ever thought of applying?”

“I could totally be a police officer,” April said, pushing off of the wall. “I’d make an awesome detective, I solve all kinds of things back in Pawnee.”

“She’s right, one time? I lost my guitar, right? And she found it like _that_!” Andy said, snapping his fingers. “Turns out I’d just slung it over my shoulder and it was on my back, which I couldn’t see because, hello, I don’t have eyes on the back of my head!” He chuckled, then rubbed his chin. “And even then, if you think about it, like, I’d be looking straight ahead… or, well, _backwards_ , so I wouldn’t have seen it then either. Come to think of it my guitar could’ve been lost for ages, wow. Thanks again, babe!”

Rosa eyed the both of them with a sneer, her eyes narrowing. April met the gaze, sneering right back at her.

“Whoa, what’s going on here? A stare off? Or an ugly face contest?” Gina asked, walking over and between the pair of women with paperwork for Rosa. “Better hope the wind doesn’t change, am I right? Because your face could stay like that. It’s not an urban myth, either, I know a girl that happened to, swear to god.”

“Dude, no way! Really?!” Andy asked. “That is awesome, I thought it was a rumour!”

“Nope, she looks just like this:” Gina stuck her tongue out, letting it hang to the left, raised the opposite lip up high, and crossed her eyes. “It’s seriously her high school grad pic, in the yearbook and everything.”

“Thanks, Gina.” Rosa said, not breaking eye contact with April, who continued to stare as well.

“No probs, it’s my jooooob.” she replied, hanging around and leaning against Rosa’s desk with her hands in her pockets.

After a couple of seconds, Rosa finally reluctantly broke off eye contact with April (who smirked at the victory) to look at Gina. “Speaking of your job, shouldn’t you, you know?” She gestured with her hands as if to shoo her away.

“Sweep? No, that’s not my job at all, you know that!” Gina said with a laugh. Andy joined in, not really knowing what he was laughing at but doing so anyway. “Get a load of this joker!”

“I know right? She told me a good one earlier, get this, that they call this place the ‘Big Apple.’ I mean, come on, that’s hilarious!” he said, chuckling. “New York looks nothing like an apple, it’s not even red! Nice try but you can’t fool me!”

“You know, I never really thought about that before, huh.” Gina said, tilting her head. “You’re right, that makes no sense at all.”

Rosa rubbed her forehead as she put her pen down on the desk. “Look, sir, we can’t help you without a description of your mugger, ok?”

“Don’t you have an artist or something that can, I don’t know, draw a picture of the perp?” April asked. “A _real_ police officer would know that, by the way.” she jabbed.

“We still need a description to go off of, _ma’am._ ” Rosa retorted.

“Hey, I’m not old enough to be called ma’am!” April objected, frowning even harder. “You take that back!”

While they argued, Andy had snatched up Rosa’s pen and was doodling on a piece of paper on her desk. He picked it up and showed it to them, circling the mugger with his pen.

“Does this help at all?” he asked, looking from Rosa to Gina and then back again. “I mean, it’s not to scale or anything but it’s a fairly accurate depiction of the situation.”

Both Rosa and Gina squinted at the drawing. Gina pointed to it, frowning as she did so. “Who is that over there, off to the side?”

“Oh that’s April, my wife. She’s awesome.” He pointed to her, then to the other two figures in the drawing. “And that’s me there, and the jerk that robbed me, see?” There were stink lines coming up off of the robber for added effect.

“Sir, this is a stick figure drawing. The faces are literally _blank._ ” Rosa’s voice was getting louder with every syllable and she kept her face down, staring at her desk.

“I said it wasn’t to scale!” Andy reminded her. “But look, there’s loads of detail - there’s the guitar the dude stole from me, see it?” The stick figure that was labeled Andy was holding a crudely drawn guitar, which the other stick figure, labeled with a ‘?’ over its head, was clearly trying to take it from him.

“It does depict that pretty well, actually, yeah.” Gina agreed. Rosa stared at her without saying a word. “But wait, why did you have a guitar on you?” She gasped and her eyes went wide. “Are you a busker? Please tell me you were busking at the time, because that’d be pretty awesome.”

“Haha, no, I’m, well.” Andy sat up and waved nonchalantly. “I’m actually in a rock band. Or I was, I guess, but I’m a solo performer now. I’m kind of a big deal back in Pawnee.”

“He’s being modest, he’s a huge star back home, actually.” April clarified. “He plays sold out shows every weekend.”

“Yeah, the kids love me!” Andy said. “I’m the number one performer in the whole county with the five to ten year old demographic, it’s a fact.”

“You’re a children’s performer?” Rosa asked with a smirk, then looking to April. “Well, that explains a lot, I guess.”

Before April could respond, more police officers entered the room, one on either side of a handcuffed person who had a guitar smashed over his head. The man on one side nodded at Rosa as they walked past her.

“Hey Rosa, caught your perp while you were busy yammering.” Peralta called out, leading the criminal to the cells.

“Jake only caught him when the suspect banged into him and they both fell to the ground. I was the one who saw him and chased him.” the other officer said, rolling her eyes.

“You’re just jealous that it’s technically my collar, Santiago.” Jake said, turning back to the crowd surrounding Rosa’s desk. “I got up before he did and slapped the cuffs on him, so it’s mine, that’s how it works boys and girls.”

“Dude high five!” Andy exclaimed, slapping skin with Peralta. “Though wait, isn’t that… hey, that’s my guitar!” He pointed at the instrument then at his drawing.

Gina looked from the drawing to Jake and then back again. “Wow, that is actually a frighteningly accurate stick figure-esque sketch of it.”

“I did have to, uh, commandeer it, to catch this guy.” he said, thumbing at the criminal with said instrument smashed down over his head. “He took off once he was cuffed and the guitar was right there, so, you know.” Jake mimicked swinging it down over the crook’s head. “SMASH!”

“Couldn’t you like have tasered him or something?” April asked.

“Well, yeah, potentially, but that was in my belt and the guitar was in my hands, so… you could say it was… _instrumental_ in the guy’s arrest. Right? Right?!”

No one laughed except for Andy, who roared, and Detective Boyle who somehow heard it across the room and who laughed and yelled out ‘good one!’ to Peralta.

“Anyway, I’ve got this now.” Rosa said, waving the paperwork Gina had brought her.

“Oh no you don’t, it’s my collar so I’ll do all of-” Jake started as he took the paperwork, stopping as he saw Rosa’s smirk.” ...of the tedious paperwork that goes along with it.”

“And finish taking these lovely tourist’s statements and information.” Rosa finished, getting to her feet. “Come on, Gina, let’s leave Officer Peralta to that, shall we?”

“Take care, you guys! Nice to meet you!” Gina said with a wave, following Rosa as they left Jake holding the paperwork and the perp.

“Dammit.” Jake said. Santiago just shook her head and brought the prisoner to the cells, leaving him there with Andy and April.

“Dude, you’ve got to show me those sick moves you used. I bet it was like a scene out of Robocop or something!” Andy said.

“Well, I _am_ pretty badass, yeah.” Jake said with a smirk as he lead them to his desk.


End file.
